Queer Dictionary
Welcome to the Queer Dictionary!
It can be a little tricky to keep up with the latest terms and lingo floating around the queer community. This can be particularly challenging for newcomers and allies of the queer community so we are here to help...it is after all, what we do here at Queer Events.
We've collected terms below that are often used when talking about sexual orientation, gender and queer sub-culture to help us all understand and connect with each other.
As you can imagine there are a lot of terms to include, so over time we will continue to grow this list and include more and more information.
Abrosexuality
See Also:Human DefinitionAbrosexuality is the fluency of sexual preference, much like genderfluid but with which gender(s) you are sexually attracted to.
Everday UseI don't think I ever felt comfortable defining myself by one sexuality but then I realised I was abrosexual.Official DefinitionAn individual whose sexuality is fluid. While a person's sexual identity can shift in some way throughout their life, an abrosexual person's sexuality may change more frequently, over the course of hours, days, months, or years. It is often considered to be the sexuality equivalent of genderfluid and part of the asexual spectrum.
The timing of the fluctuations is different for every person; for some the fluctuations may be erratic and for others they may be regular. The sexualities that a person fluctuates between also varies. Some abrosexual people may be fluid between all sexualities, while others may only be fluid between a few.
Aegosexuality
See Also:Human DefinitionAegosexuals might have a sexually appealing fantasy, but they don't find it appealing in real life.
Everday UseJohn likes the idea of sex, but does not actually want it.Official DefinitionA disconnection between oneself and a sexual partner/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies, or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities.
Aegosexual (formally known as Autochorissexual) is a sexual orientation found within the asexual umbrella. It was coined by Anthony Bogaert in 2012. He used the term "autochorissexual", however, the community feels that this term pathologizes the identity.
Allosexual
See Also:Human DefinitionSome asexual-spectrum people use the term “allosexual” to describe anyone who is not asexual, demisexual, or a gray-asexual; i.e., people who regularly experience sexual attraction/desire for others. The prefix “allo-” simply means “other,” so allosexual is a descriptor for someone who is sexual toward other people. The term "allosexual" helps eliminate the idea that being "asexual" is abnormal.
Everday UseI think Jace is sexually attracted to Jon. He must be allosexual then.Official DefinitionSomeone who experiences sexual attraction.
Ace
See Also:Human DefinitionA popular nickname for a person who is asexual.
Everday UseI'm an active member of the ace community.Official DefinitionA sexual orientation label referencing asexuality. Sometimes called the "Ace Umbrella" to represent the wide spectrum of asexual identities and experiences.
Akiosexual
Human DefinitionAn akiosexual person does experience sexual attraction, but they don’t want the attraction returned or for anyone to be attracted to them.
If the attraction is returned, their attraction usually fades.
Everday UseKrys is akiosexual. They were attracted to Tina but not since Tina tried to make out with them.Official DefinitionA person who experiences sexual attraction but does NOT want it reciprocated under ANY circumstances. Also known as Lithosexual,
Apothisexual
See Also:Human DefinitionSomeone who finds sex and/or sexual content unsettling and perhaps even disgusting. Like any sexuality, there are often variations on this. Some may find other having sex okay, others are repulsed by any mention of sex even if it doesn't relate to themselves.
Everday UseCarin feels nauseious with unexpected sex scenes in movies, she's apothisexual.Official DefinitionSomeone under the Asexual umbrella who is sex repulsed. some apothisexuals, they are averse to the idea of engaging in sex themselves, but are fine with sexual activity that does not involve them. Others may be repulsed by the idea of sex in general. Those who are apothisexual typically do not seek out sexual relationships.
Aromantic
Human DefinitionA person who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction to anyone.
Everday UseSally is an aromantic bisexual. She feels sexual attraction to two genders, but does not feel romantic attractionOfficial DefinitionExperiencing little or no romantic attraction to others and/or has a lack of interest in romantic relationships/behavior. Aromanticism exists on a continuum from people who experience no romantic attraction or have any desire for romantic activities, to those who experience low levels, or romantic attraction only under specific conditions, and many of these different places on the continuum have their own identity labels.
Asexual
Human DefinitionA person who does not feel the need to have sex very often, if at all
Everday UseI'm asexual but I still enjoy going on dates.Official DefinitionA sexual orientation that refers to a person who experiences little or no sexual attraction and who chooses to call themselves asexual.
Asexuality exists on a continuum from people who experience no attraction or desire for sexual activities, to those who experience low levels, or only under specific conditions will they experience sexual attractions.
Ace is a common term used by individuals to refer to themselves as on identity that falls within asexuality.
Bi-Curious
See Also:Human DefinitionPeople of the gender you aren't usually attracted to start to look a little more intriguing than they used to...
Everday UseI use to date Bill but now I like Jenny... I'm not sure if I'm bisexual. I think I might be a little bi-curiousOfficial DefinitionA curiosity about having attraction to people of the same gender/sex (similar to questioning).
Bisexual
See Also:Human DefinitionA person who is romantically or sexually attracted to more than one gender.
Everday UseMarriage is not the only issue facing gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.Official DefinitionA person who has the capacity to have physical, romantic, and/or emotional attractions to those of the same gender, or to those of another gender.
A bisexual identity does not necessarily equate to equal sexual attraction to only two sexes; commonly, people who have a distinct but not exclusive sexual preference for one sex over the other also identify themselves as bisexual.
Coming Out
See Also:Human DefinitionWhen someone realizes they are part of the queer rainbow and come out of the closet. This can be a solo or sharing activity.
Everday UseMy brother came out to me today.Official DefinitionA process of revealing more openly to self or others one’s LGBTQ identity.
The process by which one shares one’s sexuality or gender identity with others (to “come out” to friends, etc.).
It’s entirely your choice whether or not you come out, and who to. Some people find they prefer not to come out. Others find it makes them a positive role model to others and feel glad that they did.
Cupiogex
See Also:Human DefinitionPart of the cupiosexual community. Someone who is sexually exclusively attracted to the same sex, but is willing to participate in sexual activities with other genders/sexes (despite no sexual attraction for them).
Official DefinitionSomeone who is sexually exclusively attracted to the same sex, but is willing to participate in sexual activities with other genders/sexes (despite no sexual attraction for them).
Cupiosexual
See Also:Human DefinitionCupiosexuality is apart of the asexual community. It refers to a person who is not sexually attracted towards anyone under any circumstances, but is willing to engage in sex or sex like activities with others and/or have sexual relationships.
Imagine that you feel neutral about a certain food - let us say cake for the sake of an easy example. Now, let's say you are hungry and you open the fridge and see a piece of cake. There is no other food in the fridge. You eat the piece of cake because you're hungry, but you feel indifferent about the piece of cake (it is not your favorite food but at the same time you don't not like it).
Everday UseI describe myself as cupiosexual.Official DefinitionA person who does not exhibit sexual attraction towards anyone under any circumstances, but is willing to engage in sex or sex like activities with others and/or have sexual relationships with someone.
Demisexual
Human DefinitionAn emotional connection is required before becoming sexually attracted to another person.
Everday UseI'm far more attracted to emotional connection than physical attraction.Official DefinitionA person who requires an emotional connection with someone before feeling any type of sexual attraction.
Demisexuals will often know someone and have developed a romantic relationship before engaging in any type of sexual activity.
Esthesiosexual
See Also:Official DefinitionAn asexual spectrum identity. The person has sexual interest, but none of it involve direct penetration. Rather, they prefer outer course (sexual activities that do not involve penetration), or sensual actions.
Gay
See Also:Human DefinitionA male who is attracted to other men
Everday UseI am a happy gay manOfficial DefinitionA sexual orientation referring to a male person whose primary attraction is to other male folks
Grey-asexual
See Also:Human DefinitionTypically experiences romantic attraction but once in awhile will experience sexual attraction
Everday UseIt's not often I feel sexual attraction towards another person.Official DefinitionSomeone who typically does not experience sexual attraction but from time to time will be attracted to another person.
This term falls under the Asexual (Ace) Umbrella, This is a catch term for anyone who falls in the 'grey' area between sexual and asexual, this term has also been used for those who fall under the aromantic spectrum.
Heterosexism
See Also:Human DefinitionThe false assumption that everyone is or should be heterosexual because it is assumed to be the only acceptable way to be. This assumption often leads to discrimination based on sexual orientation; a form of homophobia.
Everday UseHeterosexism is everywhere, it's what we see everyday.Official DefinitionThe assumption that everyone is heterosexual and that heterosexuality is superior and preferable. The result is discrimination against bisexual, lesbian and gay people that is less overt, and which may be unintentional and unrecognized by the person or organization responsible for the discrimination.
Heterosexual
See Also:Human Definitionalso known as a straight person.
Everday UseHeterosexuals can be great alliesOfficial DefinitionA person who has romantic or sexual attractions only to people of another gender.
Homophobia
See Also:Human DefinitionPeople who have been taught to fear, hate or otherwise feel superior to people who are homosexual (queer). Often homophobia is spread by religious, government or other misinformed groups.
Everday UseThe church spreads homophobia in their teachings.Official DefinitionNegative attitudes, feelings, or irrational aversion to, fear or hatred of gay, lesbian, or bisexual people and communities, or of behaviours stereotyped as “homosexual.” It is used to signify a hostile psychological state leading to discrimination, harassment or violence against gay, lesbian or bisexual people.
Homosexual
See Also:Human DefinitionA person whose sexual preference is members of the same sex.
Everday UseHomosexuals are just like everyone else.Official DefinitionA person who is sexually attracted to members of the same sex. Male homosexuals are usually referred to as gays, and females as lesbians.
Lesbian
Human DefinitionA woman who is attracted only to other women.
Everday UseMy moms are lesbiansOfficial DefinitionA woman who is emotionally, physically, spiritually and/or sexually attracted to women.
LGBT2SQQIAAP
Official DefinitionLesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Two-Spirit, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Agender, Pansexual
MSM
See Also:Human DefinitionMan who does not consider themselves as gay but are happy to have sex with men
Everday UseI am not gay, I just have sex with other menOfficial DefinitionA man who has sex with men. This term is used to include men who engage in homosexual behaviour but do not identify as gay.
Non-Binary
See Also:Human DefinitionMost people – including most transgender people – are either male or female. But some people don't neatly fit into the categories of "man" or "woman," or “male” or “female.” For example, some people have a gender that blends elements of being a man or a woman, or a gender that is different than either male or female. Some people don't identify with any gender. Some people's gender changes over time.
People whose gender is not male or female use many different terms to describe themselves, with non-binary being one of the most common. Other terms include genderqueer, agender, bigender, and more. None of these terms mean exactly the same thing – but all speak to an experience of gender that is not simply male or female.
Everday UseOh, that's Jay. They're nonbinary, so they don't go by he/him pronouns, they go by they/them pronounsOfficial DefinitionNon Binary, is a catch-all category for gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine—identities which are outside the gender binary and cisnormativity. Non Binary people may express a combination of masculinity and femininity, or neither, in their gender expression.
Pansexual
See Also:Human DefinitionSomeone who finds themselves attracted to people from all the different genders.
Everday UseI'm pansexual, Im attracted to people for reasons outside of their genderOfficial DefinitionA person who has romantic or sexual attractions to people of any gender identity (both binary and non-binary).
Polyamory
Human DefinitionWhere instead of 2 people in a relationship there are can be 3, 4 etc.
Everday UseI am in a comitted polyamorous relationship with 2 other peopleOfficial DefinitionThe practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.
Queer
See Also:Human DefinitionA term to that includes everyone and all identities under the magical lgbt2q+ rainbow. This is our favorite way to refer to the entire LGBTT2QQIAAP community.
Everday UseQueer Events helps me be more connected to the queer communityOfficial DefinitionAn umbrella term used proudly by some people to identify themselves as members of the lesbian, gay, bi, and/or trans communities or cultures.
Occasionally used by someone who wishes to defy gender or sexual restrictions.
Queerplatonic (QPR)
Official DefinitionQueerplatonic or quasiplatonic relationship, (QPR) is a term used to describe a relationship that is intimate but not sexual. Some have defined it as a cross between a best-friendship and a romantic relationship. Often used by the Asexual community.
Questioning
See Also:Human DefinitionSomeone who is not so sure they are the standard type heterosexual.
Everday UseLately I've been questioning my sexual identity, I think I may be a lesbian.Official DefinitionA period where a person explores their own sexual and/or gender identity, reflecting on such things as upbringing, expectations from others, and inner landscape. The person may not be certain if s/he is gay, lesbian, bisexual, or trans and may be trying to figure out how to identify themselves.
Sex-Positive
Human DefinitionA place, person or interaction where you are free and perhaps even encouraged to openly discuss all things sex.
Everday UseI learned so much while in a sex-postive spaceOfficial DefinitionAn attitude that embraces a diversity of forms of consensual human sexuality, and advocates for sex education and safer sex.
Sexual Identity
See Also:Official DefinitionSexual identity as the label that people adopt to signify to others who they are as a sexual being, particularly regarding sexual orientation Most often people have a sexual identity that is the same as their sexual orientation e.g. most heterosexual people identify as straight and most homosexual people identify as 'lesbian' or 'gay'. However there is a large number of people for who their sexual orientation does not match their sexual identity. For some there is a political element to this for e.g. identifying as queer to highlight the fluidity and diversity of gender and sexual orientation.
Sexual Orientation
See Also:Human DefinitionThe gender a person desires or prefers sexually or romantically
Everday UseOnly my lovers know my sexual orientation.Official DefinitionToward whom a person’s sexual desires and drives are oriented – toward only women, or only men, or nobody, or irrespective of gender. It is separate and independent from a person’s gender identity. It can be fluid over time. The identity a person uses to describe their sexual orientation may not reflect their sexual behaviours.
WSW
See Also:Human DefinitionA woman who identifies as heterosexual but has sex with women.
Everday UseI'm not a lesbian or bisexual, I just like to have sex with other women sometimesOfficial DefinitionA woman who has sex with women.
AFAB (FAAB)
See Also:Human DefinitionThe doctor decided the gender of the baby as female based on their parts...
Everday UseI'm not a female but that's what the doctor decidedOfficial DefinitionAFAB (FAAB): Assigned Female at Birth - Refers to birth assignment, not one’s gender identity. Assigned Female at Birth refers to how babies are assigned a gender (male, female or intersex) based on anatomical characteristics at the time of their birth.
Agender
See Also:Human DefinitionAgender is a term which can be literally translated as 'without gender'. It can be seen either as a non-binary gender identity or as a statement of not having a gender identity.
Everday UseKye realised that identifying as agender wasn't an immediate realization but a gradual awakening, a recognition that what applied to other girls didn't seem to apply to Kye.Official DefinitionA person with no (or very little) connection to the traditional system of gender, no personal alignment with the concepts of either man or woman, and/or someone who sees themselves as existing without gender. Can also refer to a person whose gender identity is genderless or neutral
AMAB (MAAB)
See Also:Human DefinitionGender assigned to a baby based on their physical parts.
Everday UseI'm not a male but that's what the doctor decidedOfficial DefinitionAssigned Male at Birth - Refers to birth assignment, not one’s gender identity. Assigned Male/Female at Birth refers to how babies are assigned a gender (male, female or intersex) based on anatomical characteristics at the time of their birth.
Androgynous
See Also:Human DefinitionSomeone partly male and partly female in appearance; of indeterminate sex.
Everday UseAndrogynous fashion is changing perceptions on male beauty.Official DefinitionA gender expression that has elements of both masculinity and femininity; also occasionally used in place of “intersex” to describe a person with both female and male anatomy.
Cisgender
Human DefinitionWhen you feel like your gender matches your biological sex.
Everday UseI am biologically female and I think of myself as a woman.Official DefinitionUsed to describe people whose gender identity is in harmony with the sex assigned to them at birth.
Cissexism
Human DefinitionWhen we behave poorly to people who do not present the same as the gender we are expecting them to 'look like'
Everday UseCissexism has to stop, we cannot keep treating our Trans friends this wayOfficial DefinitionA system of oppression that considers cis people to be superior to trans people. It includes harmful beliefs that it is “natural” to be cis and “aberrant” to be trans. Examples include scrutinizing the genders of trans people to more than those of cis people or defining beauty based on how cis people look.
Cross-Dresser
See Also:Human DefinitionUsually a heterosexual person who dresses in the clothing of their "opposite" gender.
Everday UseOccasionaly I enjoy cross dressing.Official DefinitionA person who, for various reasons, wears gender atypical clothing or occasionally dresses in clothing of the “opposite” gender. They may or may not self-identify as a cross dresser. Cross-dressers don’t associate with the LGBTQ community and don’t see themselves as anything but straight/heterosexual.
Drag Queen / Drag King
See Also:Human DefinitionSomeone who dresses in the clothing of the “opposite” gender for performance.
Everday UseI was at a drag show featuring both Drag Queens and Kings.Official DefinitionSomeone who dresses in the clothing of the “opposite” gender for performance. Drag performers can be of any gender identity or sexual orientation but are typically queer. It is usually polite to refer to a drag queen as "she" when she is in drag, and "he" when he is not and vice versa for the drag kings.
Gender
See Also:Human DefinitionGender describes the characteristics that a society or culture delineates as masculine or feminine.
Everday UseGender is a social construct.Official DefinitionGender refers to the socially constructed characteristics of women and men – such as norms, roles and relationships of and between groups of women and men. It varies from society to society and can be changed.
Gender Binary
See Also:Human DefinitionA person can only be either male or female.
Everday UseZae rebels against the gender binary and identifies as genderqueer.Official DefinitionThis is the classification of sex and gender into two distinct and disconnected states of masculine and feminine. It discourages people from crossing or mixing gender roles, and from identifying with more than two forms of gender expression. Sometimes in this binary model, "sex", "gender" and "sexuality" are assumed by default to align. For example, when a male is born, gender binarism assumes the male will be masculine in appearance, character traits, and behavior, including having a heterosexual attraction to females.
Gender Dysphoria
See Also:Human DefinitionWhen our body's gender does not match our internal concept of gender. (My parts say I'm female but everything I feel on the inside suggested male. )
Everday UseMany trans individuals experience gender dysphoria.Official DefinitionA state of emotional distress caused by how someone's body or the gender they were assigned at birth conflicts with their gender identity. It is a widely recognized medical condition. If untreated, it can lead to severe mental health issues, including debilitating depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation; A term used in psychiatry to refer to the incongruence between an individual’s designated birth sex and their gender identity, with marked dissociation from one’s physical body.
Gender Expression
See Also:Human DefinitionHow a person chooses to embrace and express a gender.
Everday UseGender expression allows me to embrace different sides of myselfOfficial DefinitionHow a person publicly presents or expresses their gender including behaviour and outward appearance such as dress, hair, make-up, body language, voice, chosen name and pronoun.
Gender Identity
See Also:Human DefinitionHow a person experiences their gender.
Everday UseJessie's sex is female but his gender identity is male.Official DefinitionEach person’s internal and individual experience of gender. It is a person’s sense of being a woman, a man, both, neither or anywhere on the gender spectrum. This sense of self is separate from biological sex assigned at birth and is not related to sexual orientation. Since gender identity is internal, it is not necessarily visible to others.
Gender Neutral Pronouns
Human DefinitionA gender neutral or gender inclusive pronoun is a pronoun which does not associate a gender with the individual who is being discussed.
Everday UseXe is laughing after I called xem cute.Official DefinitionAlternate pronouns that are gender neutral and used by some trans* people. They replace “he” and “she” and “his” and “hers” respectively. Alternatively some people who are not comfortable/do not embrace he/she use the plural pronoun “they/their” as a gender neutral singular pronoun.
Commonly used gender neutral pronoun usage:
Ze (or zie) and hir - Usage: Ze laughed I called hir Hir eyes gleam That is hirs Ze likes hirself
Ze (or zie) and zir - Usage: Ze laughed I called zir Zir eyes gleam That is zirs Ze likes zirself
Xe - Usage: Xe laughed I called xem Xyr eyes gleam That is xyrs Xe likes xemself
Gender Role
See Also:Human DefinitionOutdated notions on what a person can and cannot do based solely on their gender
Everday UseGender roles would suggest that as a Male, I have to be a provider.Official DefinitionThe oppressive culturally and historically specific expectations and restrictions that are placed on a person based on whether they are medically categorized at birth as male or female.
Genderfluid
See Also:Human DefinitionPeople who identify as “gender fluid,” are a mix of both genders, and/or may feel more male on some days and more female on others.
Everday UseJamie is genderfluid and like to wear whatever expreses their identity each day.Official Definitiondenoting or relating to a person who does not identify themselves as having a fixed gender. They may move back and forth between gender presentations and identifications, or participate in queering of gender by mixing masculine and feminine presentations
Genderfuck
See Also:Human DefinitionSomeone who intentionally blurs the stereotypical lines of gender in order to provoke a response in people - usually done to promote thought and conversation.
Everday UseI am genderfuck. I enjoy dressing in a skirt and showing off my long beard.Official DefinitionThis is an identity built around playing with stereotypical gender cues to purposely confuse, or combine a culture’s standard or gender expressions. A person who identifies as genderfuck may wish to remain separate from gender, or may play with the idea of gender.
Genderqueer
Human DefinitionSomeone who does not identify as male or female.
Everday UseAtle does not identify as male or female. They embrace being genderqueer.Official DefinitionAn identity in which people feel that the very substance of their gender lies outside the binary of “male” and “female.” They reject the gender expectations and stereotypes for their birth assigned sex. They may identify and express themselves as “feminine men” or “masculine women” or as androgynous, outside of the categories of “boy/man” or “girl/woman” They may or may not identify as trans, and may use gender neutral pronouns such as ze, hir, hirs, they and them.
Intersex
See Also:Human DefinitionA person whose physical parts cannot easily be distinguished as either male or female.
Everday UseSome people are both intersex and transgender.Official DefinitionIntersex people are born with sex characteristics (including genitals, gonads and chromosome patterns) that do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies. Some intersex persons may be assigned and raised as a girl or boy but then identify with another gender later in life, while most continue to identify with their assigned sex.
Misandry
See Also:Human DefinitionThe dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men.
Everday UseNot all feminists believe in misandry.Official DefinitionThe hatred and denigration of men and characteristics deemed masculine.
Misogyny
See Also:Human DefinitionThe dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.
Everday UseWomen only spaces are often attacked by misogynistsOfficial DefinitionThe hatred and denigration of women and characteristics deemed feminine.
Non-Binary
See Also:Human DefinitionMost people – including most transgender people – are either male or female. But some people don't neatly fit into the categories of "man" or "woman," or “male” or “female.” For example, some people have a gender that blends elements of being a man or a woman, or a gender that is different than either male or female. Some people don't identify with any gender. Some people's gender changes over time.
People whose gender is not male or female use many different terms to describe themselves, with non-binary being one of the most common. Other terms include genderqueer, agender, bigender, and more. None of these terms mean exactly the same thing – but all speak to an experience of gender that is not simply male or female.
Everday UseOh, that's Jay. They're nonbinary, so they don't go by he/him pronouns, they go by they/them pronounsOfficial DefinitionNon Binary, is a catch-all category for gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine—identities which are outside the gender binary and cisnormativity. Non Binary people may express a combination of masculinity and femininity, or neither, in their gender expression.
Passing
See Also:Human DefinitionPassing refers to a transgender person’s ability to be correctly perceived as the gender they identify as and beyond that, to not be perceived as transgender.
The problem with the concept of passing is that this implies that there is a right way to be trans as well as that somehow trans people are trying to trick others into not thinking they are trans. Trans folk come in many different shapes and sizes, and everyone's experience of being trans is different. Additionally, not every trans person can afford surgery, not every trans person can even obtain hormones. The challenges to receiving gender-affirming care are very real and even if trans folk do have access to that care, there are some things that no amount of money or surgery will change such as a person's height.
Everday UseThe concept of passing is damaging and problematic for the trans community.Official DefinitionPassing applies to a transgender individual who is generally perceived as cisgender. Typically, passing involves a mixture of physical gender cues (for example, hair style or clothing) as well as certain behavioral attributes that tend to be culturally associated with a particular gender.
Reading
See Also:Human DefinitionWhen you suspect someone is transgender and you begin studying them and their body for signs to confirm your suspicion, this is called reading or clocking. It’s rude and offensive because you’re staring as well as actively trying to discover what’s different about this person instead of treating them normally, and that can be alienating. When a trans person doesn’t pass as cis, they can be read. For some people, this is a big deal, and for others, it’s not. But the bottom line is to simply respect people’s humanity.
Everday UseReading someone can make them feel like an animal in a zoo.Official DefinitionThe term 'reading' is used to refer to the process someone uses to try to identify someone as transgender. This is also known as 'clocking'.
Sex
Human DefinitionAn identity assigned based on your physical parts.
Everday UseSex meaning what parts you physically have, not the actOfficial DefinitionThe medical classification of people as male, female or intersex, usually assigned at birth based on the appearance of a person’s anatomy. Sex characteristics include chromosomes, hormones, secondary sex characteristics, and other aspects of the body.
Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS)
See Also:Human DefinitionSurgery to physically alter your body to match the gender you are on the inside.
Everday UseHigh numbers of trans people go to Thailand for SRS proceedures.Official Definitionused by some medical professionals to refer to a group of surgical options that alter a person’s biological sex. “Gender confirmation surgery” is considered by many to be a more affirming term. In most cases, one or multiple surgeries are required to achieve legal recognition of gender variance. Some refer to different surgical procedures as “top” surgery and “bottom” surgery to discuss what type of surgery they are having without having to be more explicit.
Stealth
See Also:Human DefinitionGoing stealth means completely hiding one’s transgender history, not talking about it with anyone, and completely hiding that one has transitioned.
Additional Notes:
The reasons for going stealth are many and are as individual as the person making the decision.
In times past this was what was expected of transgender people if they were to medically transition. It was expected and necessary to leave one’s marriage (if married), move away, socially transition, prove one has successfully done that for one year, then one may get Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), one year after that one may get gender-affirming surgery, then one may move back to where one lived.
Fully going stealth is no longer a necessary goal for those who seek medical transition, but is still an option that transgender people choose. Transition is not the easiest thing in the world. In all too many cases transgender people lose those they were close to. By going stealth it becomes easier to rebuild connections and one’s life. Going stealth provides the opportunity to live as who one is without a lot of difficult questions. It means being able to gain employment that may otherwise not be available. Going stealth, all too often, protects transgender people from physical violence and murder. Being stealth is an option that can be quite appealing. That said, it is only an option for those who are able to consistently pass as cisgender.
Today, going stealth is now viewed as a problematic term as it implies that trans people are "tricking" others or engaging in deception. It is also considered a privilege that many trans people cannot access.
Everday UseDr. Vanderbilt was stealth until her story was published without permission on a sports blog.Official DefinitionStealth is a term used for trans people who 'pass' as their desired gender at all times and no one around them has knowledge of their gender history.
Folks who go stealth also tend to have removed all contacts and connections to their gender history.
TERF
See Also:Human DefinitionAn acronym for a damaging ideology called Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminism, which is a branch of radicalism that denies the validity of transgender women’s identities as women.
Everday UseUnlike TERFs, many feminists beleive that transwomen are women too.Official DefinitionTERF is an acronym for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. Their position denies that trans people's self-affirmed genders and sexes are equally valid as cis-people's self-affirmed genders and sexes. It has a decades-long history of allying with anti-feminist causes in denying trans people access to health care, and other human rights.
Trans
Human DefinitionDenoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their biological sex.
Everday UseWe have a large trans community.Official DefinitionAn umbrella term used for people whose gender identity is not in harmony with their birth assignment, either wholly or partially, or who experience their gender identity as radically different from what is expected of a "man" or "woman." It includes but is not limited to people who identify as transgender, trans woman, trans man, gender non-conforming, gender variant or gender queer. There are many communities that live under this umbrella and there is no single or universal experience of what it means to be trans.
Trans Man (FTM)
See Also:Human DefinitionA person
Everday UseJessie will be at the party tomorrow. He is an awesome person.Official DefinitionA female-to-male trans person.
Trans Woman (MTF)
See Also:Human DefinitionA person
Everday UseJane doesn't like to cook. She likes to get take out.Official DefinitionA male-to-female trans person.
Transition
See Also:Human DefinitionWhen someone goes through a process of transitioning from one gender to the next. This process is unique to everyone and only the individual can decide what the process looks like.
Everday UseI am transitiong from FTM (female to male)Official DefinitionA host of activities that some trans people may pursue to affirm their gender identity. This may include changes to their name, sex designation, dress, the use of specific pronouns, and possibly medically supportive treatments such as hormone therapy, sex-reassignment surgery or other procedures. There is no checklist or average time for a transition process, and no universal goal or endpoint. Each person decides what will meet their needs.
Transmisogyny
See Also:Human DefinitionWhen we behave poorly to people who identify as feminine but were not assigned female at birth.
Everday UseTransmisogyny targets transgender and transsexual women.Official DefinitionNegative attitudes, expressed through cultural hate, individual and state violence, and discrimination directed toward trans women, and trans and gender non-conforming people on the feminine end of the gender spectrum.
Transmisogyny is all about the hatred of the feminine, and it is not limited toward only those who identify as women. It includes transfeminine and feminine-identified genderqueer people, as well as many others who are feminine-of-center but were not assigned female at birth.
Transphobia
See Also:Human DefinitionWhen we behave poorly to people who do not present the same as the gender we are expecting them to 'look like'
Everday UseTransphobia should not be tolerated.Official DefinitionAn irrational negative response to transgender and intersex people, as well as other forms of gender-bending and gender non-conformity. People who have been taught to fear, hate or otherwise feel superior to people who are trans.
Two-Spirit
See Also:Human DefinitionTwo-spirit is a First Nations identity of person who has both a masculine and a feminine spirit.
Everday UseThe fluid gender identities of the First Nations' Two Spirits were seen as a gift.Official DefinitionA cultural and spiritual identity used by some First Nations peoples to describe having both masculine and feminine spirits. For some, Two-Spirit describes a societal and spiritual role that people played within traditional societies, as mediators, keepers of certain ceremonies, transcending accepted roles of men and women, and filling a role as an established middle gender.
The term is a translation of the Anishinaabemowin term niizh manidoowag, two spirits. The use of these terms by people who are not descendants of the First Nations is considered cultural appropriation.
Ace
See Also:Human DefinitionA popular nickname for a person who is asexual.
Everday UseI'm an active member of the ace community.Official DefinitionA sexual orientation label referencing asexuality. Sometimes called the "Ace Umbrella" to represent the wide spectrum of asexual identities and experiences.
Bear
Human DefinitionBears are typically heavy, hairy lovable gays. They most likely seem like the guy next door and like to sip on a beer and cook delicious food. Bears are loved by everyone.
Everday UseThe friendly group of bears explained the rules of roller derby to us.Official DefinitionBear is LGBT slang for those in the bear communities, a subculture in the gay/bisexual male communities and an emerging subset of LGBT communities with events, codes and culture-specific identity. It also describes a physical type.
Bears tend to have hairy bodies and facial hair; some are heavy-set; some project an image of working-class masculinity in their grooming and appearance, though none of these are requirements or unique indicators. Some bears place importance on presenting a hyper-masculine image and may shun interaction with, and even disdain, men who exhibit effeminacy. The bear concept can function as an identity, an affiliation, and an ideal to live up to, and there is ongoing debate in bear communities about what constitutes a bear.
Binding
See Also:Human DefinitionBinding is the use compression garments and other techniques to minimize the appearance of a person's breast.
Everday UseI thought that drag king had no breasts but she was just binding.Official Definition(Also known as chest-binding). Binding is a technique used to minimize the appearance of a person's breasts. Some transgender men or gender-nonconforming individuals use binders (compression undergarments that look like spandex-y T-shirts) to bind the breasts to the body, creating a flatter chest.
Butch
See Also:Human DefinitionUsed for either a lesbian who exhibits a stereotypically masculine appearance/behaviour or the person in the dominant role in a lesbian relationship.
Everday UseMy butch treats me like a queen.Official DefinitionA lesbian who exhibits a stereotypically masculine appearance or behaviour. It can also be used to denote an individual, or the dominant role in a lesbian relationship.
The term butch originated in communities of lesbian and bi women, in which more masculine butches typically partnered with more feminine femmes. Because of this, butches are often assumed to be attracted to be sexually attracted to femmes, although this is not always the case. Butch women tend to follow a code of behaviour which has strong elements of traditional chivalry.
Butch women can present themselves and define "butchness" in a variety of ways. For example, being butch is about traditional masculinity to some butches, while it is about a whole new category of gender to others.
Coming Out
See Also:Human DefinitionWhen someone realizes they are part of the queer rainbow and come out of the closet. This can be a solo or sharing activity.
Everday UseMy brother came out to me today.Official DefinitionA process of revealing more openly to self or others one’s LGBTQ identity.
The process by which one shares one’s sexuality or gender identity with others (to “come out” to friends, etc.).
It’s entirely your choice whether or not you come out, and who to. Some people find they prefer not to come out. Others find it makes them a positive role model to others and feel glad that they did.
Cub
See Also:Human DefinitionA younger Bear
Everday UseLook at that cub, he's going to make a great bear one dayOfficial DefinitionA bear in the making. Cubs are smaller and younger than their Bear counterparts.
Dyke
Human DefinitionA woman who is attracted to (physically/emotionally etc) to other woman.
Everday UseI'm not missing the dyke march this weekendOfficial DefinitionSlang for lesbian. Usually used by younger members of the lesbian community.
Femme
Human DefinitionFeminine-presenting queer woman.
Everday UseThat femme has all the butches looking at her tonight.Official DefinitionOften used to refer to a feminine-presenting queer woman. Femmes are often not "read" as lesbians or queer unless they are with a butch partner, because they conform to traditional standards of femininity.
Flagging
Human DefinitionA way of visually displaying what you are looking for in a potential sex partner
Everday UseI knew we would be a good match when I saw what they were flaggingOfficial DefinitionAlso known as the “handkerchief or hanky code” Originated in the 1970’s. Individuals who participated in this form of flagging placed differently colored handkerchiefs in the back pockets of their pants: the left side for dominant sexual partners (tops) and the right side for submissive sexual partners (bottoms). The color provided even more detailed information about the wearer’s sexual preferences.
Femmes sometimes participate with “Femme-flagging manicures” where the colours parallel the hanky code.
Genderfuck
See Also:Human DefinitionSomeone who intentionally blurs the stereotypical lines of gender in order to provoke a response in people - usually done to promote thought and conversation.
Everday UseI am genderfuck. I enjoy dressing in a skirt and showing off my long beard.Official DefinitionThis is an identity built around playing with stereotypical gender cues to purposely confuse, or combine a culture’s standard or gender expressions. A person who identifies as genderfuck may wish to remain separate from gender, or may play with the idea of gender.
Lipstick lesbian
Human DefinitionA lipstick lesbian is a woman who loves other women, but also loves her clothes, makeup and shoes.
Everday UseAmy and Sue are femmes who are also dating. They're lipstick lesbians.Official DefinitionUsually refers to a lesbian with a more overtly feminine gender expression. Can be used in a positive or a derogatory way. It is also used to refer to femmes who are attracted to other femmes.
MOGAI
See Also:Human DefinitionThe acronym for Marginalized Orientations, Gender identities, & Intersex. it’s meant to be an all inclusive umbrella term for asexuals, homosexuals, trans people, and intersex people. It is used as an alternative to LGBT2Q+
Everday UseThe MOGAI community in my city is very friendly.Official DefinitionThe acronym for Marginalized Orientations, Gender identities, And Intersex.
Marginalized Orientations are orientations that aren't the default. For instance, someone whose sexual orientation is not heterosexual, or someone whose romantic orientation is not heteroromantic.
Gender Alignment, means that someone's birth assignment didn't align with the person's actual gender.
Intersex means someone who doesn't fit the norm of what society considers a "male body" or a "female body", without requiring any sort of treatment or surgery
it’s meant to be an all inclusive umbrella term for asexuals, homosexuals, trans people, and intersex people. It is used as an alternative to LGBT2Q+
Poz
Human DefinitionHIV positive person
Everday UseJim prefers to meet up with other poz guys.Official DefinitionAn abbreviation referring to an HIV positive person. It is a term embraced by those who are HIV positive, particularly common in the gay community.
Questioning
See Also:Human DefinitionSomeone who is not so sure they are the standard type heterosexual.
Everday UseLately I've been questioning my sexual identity, I think I may be a lesbian.Official DefinitionA period where a person explores their own sexual and/or gender identity, reflecting on such things as upbringing, expectations from others, and inner landscape. The person may not be certain if s/he is gay, lesbian, bisexual, or trans and may be trying to figure out how to identify themselves.
Stone Butch/Femme
Human DefinitionSomeone who enjoys performing sexual acts on their partner but are not looking for partner to reciprocate certain acts.
Everday UseStone butches often focus on pleasing their femmes.Official DefinitionA person who may or may not desire sexual penetration and/or contact with the genitals or breasts. Stone Butches/Femmes still provide their partners with sexual gratification, and often experience pleasure themselves in doing so. A Stone butch/femme is also receptive to receiving sexual pleasure from her partner in different ways as well.
Passing
See Also:Human DefinitionPassing refers to a transgender person’s ability to be correctly perceived as the gender they identify as and beyond that, to not be perceived as transgender.
The problem with the concept of passing is that this implies that there is a right way to be trans as well as that somehow trans people are trying to trick others into not thinking they are trans. Trans folk come in many different shapes and sizes, and everyone's experience of being trans is different. Additionally, not every trans person can afford surgery, not every trans person can even obtain hormones. The challenges to receiving gender-affirming care are very real and even if trans folk do have access to that care, there are some things that no amount of money or surgery will change such as a person's height.
Everday UseThe concept of passing is damaging and problematic for the trans community.Official DefinitionPassing applies to a transgender individual who is generally perceived as cisgender. Typically, passing involves a mixture of physical gender cues (for example, hair style or clothing) as well as certain behavioral attributes that tend to be culturally associated with a particular gender.
Reading
See Also:Human DefinitionWhen you suspect someone is transgender and you begin studying them and their body for signs to confirm your suspicion, this is called reading or clocking. It’s rude and offensive because you’re staring as well as actively trying to discover what’s different about this person instead of treating them normally, and that can be alienating. When a trans person doesn’t pass as cis, they can be read. For some people, this is a big deal, and for others, it’s not. But the bottom line is to simply respect people’s humanity.
Everday UseReading someone can make them feel like an animal in a zoo.Official DefinitionThe term 'reading' is used to refer to the process someone uses to try to identify someone as transgender. This is also known as 'clocking'.
Stealth
See Also:Human DefinitionGoing stealth means completely hiding one’s transgender history, not talking about it with anyone, and completely hiding that one has transitioned.
Additional Notes:
The reasons for going stealth are many and are as individual as the person making the decision.
In times past this was what was expected of transgender people if they were to medically transition. It was expected and necessary to leave one’s marriage (if married), move away, socially transition, prove one has successfully done that for one year, then one may get Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), one year after that one may get gender-affirming surgery, then one may move back to where one lived.
Fully going stealth is no longer a necessary goal for those who seek medical transition, but is still an option that transgender people choose. Transition is not the easiest thing in the world. In all too many cases transgender people lose those they were close to. By going stealth it becomes easier to rebuild connections and one’s life. Going stealth provides the opportunity to live as who one is without a lot of difficult questions. It means being able to gain employment that may otherwise not be available. Going stealth, all too often, protects transgender people from physical violence and murder. Being stealth is an option that can be quite appealing. That said, it is only an option for those who are able to consistently pass as cisgender.
Today, going stealth is now viewed as a problematic term as it implies that trans people are "tricking" others or engaging in deception. It is also considered a privilege that many trans people cannot access.
Everday UseDr. Vanderbilt was stealth until her story was published without permission on a sports blog.Official DefinitionStealth is a term used for trans people who 'pass' as their desired gender at all times and no one around them has knowledge of their gender history.
Folks who go stealth also tend to have removed all contacts and connections to their gender history.
Food for Queers
Stay Safe. Not Hungry
Providing support for 2SLGBTQ+ folks experiencing food insecurities within the city of London